Sarah Silverman “Does Matt Damon” on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

According to Wikipedia, there has been a long-running joke about Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel. Best part: “...on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door, in the tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar...” Amazing.

R.I.P. Heath Ledger.

This reminds me of River Phoenix all over again. Tragically.

This is why I heart Forever 21: all Lindsay Lo Lovers unite! And can everyone please stop telling Lindsay Lohan to lose her leggings? The girl just wants to look good and feel comfortable. No one is telling Kate Moss to no longer wear skinny jeans... which some might consider a greater offense.

London is the center of the universe.

A place where no one and everyone is a Londoner, where the prim and posh can play with the punk rockers, and where the pound rules all. To say the least, I immensely enjoyed London Town. Cheers to new experiences (and new blog entries), new beginnings, and the new year.

It is time to leave for London, where I will be living for the next couple of months. Please excuse the break, as I will be too busy navigating the Tube and stalking Prince William to blog.

A special goodbye to the random locations which entertained me all summer long: Hollywood Bowl, Troubadour, El Rey, Echoplex, Zen Zoo Tea, Le Petit Four, Bella, Katana, Tangier, Zip Fusion, 9454 Wilshire, Les Deux, Social Hollywood, Boulevard 3, and a myriad number of house parties, restaurants, lounges, pools, and places in the greater LoScandeles area.

I leave you all with these appropriate lyrics from Collective Soul:
“Oh summer
It never leaves your face
You’ve got the sunshine bright-eyed California cotton candy taste
Yeah Hollywood
You know I love you more than one should”

Drivin' Me Wild

Nasim calls it LA meets London. Considering these two places will collide soon in my world, I thought I would share. I love the random cameo by Ari Gold.

It is so hot in LA that the city is burning. Literally. So, I flew to Seattle.

When you leave California you realize that there is much more news rather than the latest club opening (Opera) or the latest celebrity sighting (Dennis Rodman at Katana). In Seattle everyone is so aware and conscious of what is going on in the world that I feel embarrassed not knowing about the latest news on Iraq or the 2008 elections. Although, luckily, thanks to Leonardo, I can contribute to conversations about the green movement and global warming.

Well, next week I'll be back in LA. Back to reality. Literally. Meeting reality stars on the street and watching reality shows!

duh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh, clap clap – my tribute to 90210.

Thanks to technology, I have been able to download and relive the most ground-breaking, revolutionary teen soap opera on television: Beverly Hills 90210. I still remember coaxing my mother into letting me watch my first episode (Brenda imitating Laverne at the Peach Pit) or chanting “Donna Martin graduates!” during elementary school graduation. I’m getting nostalgic thinking about all the great moments: Brenda and Kelly wearing the same dress to Spring Fling, David Silver going from geek to cool (all thanks to Scott shooting himself and “bleeding all over his mom’s Persian rug”), Brandon and his sideburns asking out a different girl every week, or the Noxema girl getting killed on the day of her wedding to Dylan.

I can’t even count the number of times Steve mentions Kelly’s nose job, Donna wears spandex, Brandon finds a homeless person to help, Andrea’s name is mispronounced, or someone uses the Bel Age Hotel. To this day, whenever I meet someone from Minnesota I point out that the Walsh’s are from Minneapolis.

But the most revealing part of 90210 is how much I really love Brenda and really hate Kelly.

Brenda and Dylan were meant for each other. I loved that they dressed up as Bonnie & Clyde for Halloween, that Dylan taught Brenda how to surf in Mexico, that they donated blood together on Valentine’s Day, and that they always made out or broke up to R.E.M. playing in Dylan’s Porsche Boxster. Brenda was the most interesting and amusing girl at West Beverly with her sarcastic side-comments and her flair for drama. Although she had a rebellious side, she could always be counted on to do the right thing.

So when Dylan chose Kelly over Brenda, I cried. I cried because Kelly was an annoying, self-centered, boyfriend-stealing, best friend-backstabbing, selfish bimbo. And much to my agony, she became a self-righteous, judgmental saint. I wish she overdosed during her coke phase. That. Snob. Needed. To. Die.

duh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh, clap clap.

SIGH. Where was her sponsor? Where was her mother? Where was her sister? Where were her friends? Where was I?

The Beckhams are here!

SJP wished me a happy birthday…! Does this mean I’m off the d-list and onto the c-list??

Are you suffering from Paris Fatigue? As of last night I caught the disease. Prior to last night, however, I had an email exchange with Yalda in which she basically broke down Paris to me. I had a couple questions: how did Paris look so good coming out of jail; what is her medical condition; and should I continue to wait outside her house or will she finally come back partying to Hyde? Read on for Yalda’s expert opinion:

“Paris looked good. She always looks good. And she always looks good because she is always wearing lots and lots of makeup, even at 12:15 am this morning when she was leaving Lynnwood. She was careful to mention to her makeup artist and stylist who undoubtedly paid her a visit prior to her departure that she wants to exude her new found "good-girl" image, and to make sure that her appearance in all aspects represents her so. Elliot Mintz should be having an interesting next couple of months. That is of course until Paris figures she has proven her point and reverts back to her socialite party girl ways.
As for her medical condition, Bacca described it as a personality breakdown of some sort. I didn't catch the medical term for the condition, but what I could pick up from overhearing the news this morning was that I guess its when you lose your sense of what your personality is. If so, apparently her condition was very serious, and has still not been taken care of as she is claiming to have found God, and no longer plan to be a party girl. That's definitely not Paris talking, it's her "serious medical condition." I wonder if her condition is contagious? If so, maybe she should pay her good friend Lindsay a visit in rehab, as well as Nicole, and Brit.
I looked it up, and Paris's condition is medically termed "decompensating." Wikipedia defines it as follows: "In psychiatry, decompensation is the deterioration of mental health in a patient with a previously maintained psychiatric illness, leading to a diminished ability to think and carry on daily activities." If you ask me, which I'm going to pretend you do, this is "condition" is so not serious, unless the "previously maintained psychiatric illness" is something rather serious, which I highly doubt Paris has. It just took the Police Department this long to come up with a bogus explanation as to y they let her out to begin with, and this was the only thing they could come up with that did not disclose that she has a more serious condition called a princess complex.”

Undoubtedly, we should all thank Yalda for that fascinating commentary. As for me, I watched Paris Hilton on Larry King last night. And all I thought at the end was – “Is that it?” We (and by “we” I am referring to every single newspaper, magazine, television station, media pundit, and person in the world) have been talking about Paris for the past month and at the end of it all, the only thing I learned is that jail “changed” Paris. She was so boring last night that I fell asleep during the interview. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m interested in Paris (not as much as LiLo or MK&A) because of her party girl antics, her party girl friends, her occasional feuds with her party girl friends, her party girl videos, and her party girl clothes. But I’m not interested in hearing Paris speak. So, please, Paris, keep the comments about your love for the Bible to yourself, and let’s go meet up at Teddy’s this Saturday night.

I just joined Facebook – and now face the age-old argument of Facebook v. Myspace. I deleted my Friendster account years ago, but really, Friendster was only cool for about 4 months before completely dying. So now I am left to examine whether I should delete my Myspace account, keep my Facebook account, and whether any of them are even worth thinking about. Any thoughts?

First umbrellas, now cars. This is the summer of Rihanna.

Happy 21st to Mary-Kate and Ashley!

[Can we all take a moment and admire that Chanel watch...?]

I work on the trendiest street in the entire universe. Today I walked down just one block and noticed: forty-five BlackBerrys, thirty-three Hollywood agents, twenty-eight BHHS teens outside Pinkberry, eighteen hipsters, twelve Marc Jacobs sunglasses, ten Hugo Boss suits, seven Chloé dresses, six Dolce & Gabbana purses, five coffee shops (Coffee Bean, Starbucks, Peet’s, Urth Café, Zen Zoo Tea), three B-list starlets, two Hummers, and Cameron Diaz.

And if I see another Tory Burch ballerina flat I will throw up.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Take it back, Kobe. Don’t go. Please. We love you.

Entourage + book club - Hollywood attitude + Los Feliz home = my love. Nice work, Adrian.

Questions of the day:
Did I really see Spencer Pratt Friday night outside of Privilege? And if so, where was Heidi or Brody?
Did I really get sick after my first weekend back home? My immune system needs to adjust back to LA.

Factoid of the day:
It takes 11 Persian kids, 8 Beverly Hills police officers, 3 Il Tram Nutella sandwiches, and 1 guy named Fernando with WD40 to change a flat tire.

Congrats of the day:
Everyone (and especially Neda, Samy, and Elham) who graduated this weekend from law school! Happy graduation and good luck this summer!

These past couple weeks have been very overwhelming, emotionally draining, heartrending, and frenzied. But this morning my brother and are embarking on road trip oh seven across the grand ol’ US of A. Hopefully by the end of the trek we will relax, not fight too much about the music in the car, and remember to always enjoy life and make the best out of every situation… Thank you to the Atlantians who gave me much love and support over the past couple weeks. Y’all better visit this summer!

And a very very happy happy mother’s day. Being a mom is a truly 24/7 hard job – RESPECT!