Thursday, June 28, 2007

Are you suffering from Paris Fatigue? As of last night I caught the disease. Prior to last night, however, I had an email exchange with Yalda in which she basically broke down Paris to me. I had a couple questions: how did Paris look so good coming out of jail; what is her medical condition; and should I continue to wait outside her house or will she finally come back partying to Hyde? Read on for Yalda’s expert opinion:

“Paris looked good. She always looks good. And she always looks good because she is always wearing lots and lots of makeup, even at 12:15 am this morning when she was leaving Lynnwood. She was careful to mention to her makeup artist and stylist who undoubtedly paid her a visit prior to her departure that she wants to exude her new found "good-girl" image, and to make sure that her appearance in all aspects represents her so. Elliot Mintz should be having an interesting next couple of months. That is of course until Paris figures she has proven her point and reverts back to her socialite party girl ways.
As for her medical condition, Bacca described it as a personality breakdown of some sort. I didn't catch the medical term for the condition, but what I could pick up from overhearing the news this morning was that I guess its when you lose your sense of what your personality is. If so, apparently her condition was very serious, and has still not been taken care of as she is claiming to have found God, and no longer plan to be a party girl. That's definitely not Paris talking, it's her "serious medical condition." I wonder if her condition is contagious? If so, maybe she should pay her good friend Lindsay a visit in rehab, as well as Nicole, and Brit.
I looked it up, and Paris's condition is medically termed "decompensating." Wikipedia defines it as follows: "In psychiatry, decompensation is the deterioration of mental health in a patient with a previously maintained psychiatric illness, leading to a diminished ability to think and carry on daily activities." If you ask me, which I'm going to pretend you do, this is "condition" is so not serious, unless the "previously maintained psychiatric illness" is something rather serious, which I highly doubt Paris has. It just took the Police Department this long to come up with a bogus explanation as to y they let her out to begin with, and this was the only thing they could come up with that did not disclose that she has a more serious condition called a princess complex.”

Undoubtedly, we should all thank Yalda for that fascinating commentary. As for me, I watched Paris Hilton on Larry King last night. And all I thought at the end was – “Is that it?” We (and by “we” I am referring to every single newspaper, magazine, television station, media pundit, and person in the world) have been talking about Paris for the past month and at the end of it all, the only thing I learned is that jail “changed” Paris. She was so boring last night that I fell asleep during the interview. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m interested in Paris (not as much as LiLo or MK&A) because of her party girl antics, her party girl friends, her occasional feuds with her party girl friends, her party girl videos, and her party girl clothes. But I’m not interested in hearing Paris speak. So, please, Paris, keep the comments about your love for the Bible to yourself, and let’s go meet up at Teddy’s this Saturday night.

Monday, June 25, 2007

I just joined Facebook – and now face the age-old argument of Facebook v. Myspace. I deleted my Friendster account years ago, but really, Friendster was only cool for about 4 months before completely dying. So now I am left to examine whether I should delete my Myspace account, keep my Facebook account, and whether any of them are even worth thinking about. Any thoughts?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Happy 21st to Mary-Kate and Ashley!

[Can we all take a moment and admire that Chanel watch...?]

Monday, June 11, 2007

I work on the trendiest street in the entire universe. Today I walked down just one block and noticed: forty-five BlackBerrys, thirty-three Hollywood agents, twenty-eight BHHS teens outside Pinkberry, eighteen hipsters, twelve Marc Jacobs sunglasses, ten Hugo Boss suits, seven Chloé dresses, six Dolce & Gabbana purses, five coffee shops (Coffee Bean, Starbucks, Peet’s, Urth Café, Zen Zoo Tea), three B-list starlets, two Hummers, and Cameron Diaz.

And if I see another Tory Burch ballerina flat I will throw up.