The Beckhams are here!

SJP wished me a happy birthday…! Does this mean I’m off the d-list and onto the c-list??

Are you suffering from Paris Fatigue? As of last night I caught the disease. Prior to last night, however, I had an email exchange with Yalda in which she basically broke down Paris to me. I had a couple questions: how did Paris look so good coming out of jail; what is her medical condition; and should I continue to wait outside her house or will she finally come back partying to Hyde? Read on for Yalda’s expert opinion:

“Paris looked good. She always looks good. And she always looks good because she is always wearing lots and lots of makeup, even at 12:15 am this morning when she was leaving Lynnwood. She was careful to mention to her makeup artist and stylist who undoubtedly paid her a visit prior to her departure that she wants to exude her new found "good-girl" image, and to make sure that her appearance in all aspects represents her so. Elliot Mintz should be having an interesting next couple of months. That is of course until Paris figures she has proven her point and reverts back to her socialite party girl ways.
As for her medical condition, Bacca described it as a personality breakdown of some sort. I didn't catch the medical term for the condition, but what I could pick up from overhearing the news this morning was that I guess its when you lose your sense of what your personality is. If so, apparently her condition was very serious, and has still not been taken care of as she is claiming to have found God, and no longer plan to be a party girl. That's definitely not Paris talking, it's her "serious medical condition." I wonder if her condition is contagious? If so, maybe she should pay her good friend Lindsay a visit in rehab, as well as Nicole, and Brit.
I looked it up, and Paris's condition is medically termed "decompensating." Wikipedia defines it as follows: "In psychiatry, decompensation is the deterioration of mental health in a patient with a previously maintained psychiatric illness, leading to a diminished ability to think and carry on daily activities." If you ask me, which I'm going to pretend you do, this is "condition" is so not serious, unless the "previously maintained psychiatric illness" is something rather serious, which I highly doubt Paris has. It just took the Police Department this long to come up with a bogus explanation as to y they let her out to begin with, and this was the only thing they could come up with that did not disclose that she has a more serious condition called a princess complex.”

Undoubtedly, we should all thank Yalda for that fascinating commentary. As for me, I watched Paris Hilton on Larry King last night. And all I thought at the end was – “Is that it?” We (and by “we” I am referring to every single newspaper, magazine, television station, media pundit, and person in the world) have been talking about Paris for the past month and at the end of it all, the only thing I learned is that jail “changed” Paris. She was so boring last night that I fell asleep during the interview. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m interested in Paris (not as much as LiLo or MK&A) because of her party girl antics, her party girl friends, her occasional feuds with her party girl friends, her party girl videos, and her party girl clothes. But I’m not interested in hearing Paris speak. So, please, Paris, keep the comments about your love for the Bible to yourself, and let’s go meet up at Teddy’s this Saturday night.

I just joined Facebook – and now face the age-old argument of Facebook v. Myspace. I deleted my Friendster account years ago, but really, Friendster was only cool for about 4 months before completely dying. So now I am left to examine whether I should delete my Myspace account, keep my Facebook account, and whether any of them are even worth thinking about. Any thoughts?

First umbrellas, now cars. This is the summer of Rihanna.

Happy 21st to Mary-Kate and Ashley!

[Can we all take a moment and admire that Chanel watch...?]

I work on the trendiest street in the entire universe. Today I walked down just one block and noticed: forty-five BlackBerrys, thirty-three Hollywood agents, twenty-eight BHHS teens outside Pinkberry, eighteen hipsters, twelve Marc Jacobs sunglasses, ten Hugo Boss suits, seven Chloé dresses, six Dolce & Gabbana purses, five coffee shops (Coffee Bean, Starbucks, Peet’s, Urth Café, Zen Zoo Tea), three B-list starlets, two Hummers, and Cameron Diaz.

And if I see another Tory Burch ballerina flat I will throw up.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Take it back, Kobe. Don’t go. Please. We love you.

Entourage + book club - Hollywood attitude + Los Feliz home = my love. Nice work, Adrian.

Questions of the day:
Did I really see Spencer Pratt Friday night outside of Privilege? And if so, where was Heidi or Brody?
Did I really get sick after my first weekend back home? My immune system needs to adjust back to LA.

Factoid of the day:
It takes 11 Persian kids, 8 Beverly Hills police officers, 3 Il Tram Nutella sandwiches, and 1 guy named Fernando with WD40 to change a flat tire.

Congrats of the day:
Everyone (and especially Neda, Samy, and Elham) who graduated this weekend from law school! Happy graduation and good luck this summer!

These past couple weeks have been very overwhelming, emotionally draining, heartrending, and frenzied. But this morning my brother and are embarking on road trip oh seven across the grand ol’ US of A. Hopefully by the end of the trek we will relax, not fight too much about the music in the car, and remember to always enjoy life and make the best out of every situation… Thank you to the Atlantians who gave me much love and support over the past couple weeks. Y’all better visit this summer!

And a very very happy happy mother’s day. Being a mom is a truly 24/7 hard job – RESPECT!

Just like April showers bring May flowers, April examinations bring May celebrations.

Until then, please rejoice in the news that The Hills has been picked up for a 3rd season by MTV. And that I will be in LA this summer with a twofold goal: to befriend LC and to stalk the Beckhams while they are filming their new reality show.

I am a couple hours away from flying to Toronto for the weekend and just wanted to jot down a few random highlights from my time in Los Angeles last week :

• Going from LAX to Camden House to Republic to Il Tram.
• Watching Steve Urkel’s entourage fight outside the club (why does Steve Urkel even have an entourage?)
• Sneaking into the Four Seasons sauna and spa at midnight.
• Dining at Bandera, where appropriate attire is required, with not-so-appropriate attire.
• Sana’s birthday dinner turned party turned game night turned jam session.
• Stalking Brandon Davis and James Blunt at the Les Deux parking lot.
• Celebrating my grandmother’s life at a memorial dinner.
• Going to Paris Hilton’s house party.
• Two subjects (the movie 300 and the city election ballots) dominating every conversation.
• Having too much fun with family and friends.

A special shout-out to everyone (Alex, Arash, Arezo, Arya, Mona, Negar, Nima, Poya, Roya, Sepeedeh, Shaadi, Vargha) who came out for Sana’s birthday (especially Safa, who flew all the way from the east coast haha) and a super special shout-out to Nika, Monica, Farid, Bassim, Yalda, Samar, Rauz, Anna, Negin, Sam, Isaac – although more than half of you don’t even read this blog, I had tons of fun on our various adventures – and am looking forward to more in the summer.

It is the first day of spring! Wishing everyone health, happiness, love, and laughter.

Spring break is great because you can do mindless questionnaires like this one below and not feel too bad about wasting your time:

Favorite coffee order: Coffee Bean nonfat soy vanilla ice blended
Favorite late-night snack: Il Tram chicken special, with an extra order of torshee
Favorite thing to do when stuck in traffic: listen to KIRN and make fun of the fobulous fobs
Favorite pizza: CPK
Favorite brunch spot: Coral Tree
Favorite club: whatever Sam Nazarian owns
Favorite vantage point: the Getty during the day, driving down the hill on the 405 during the night
Where would we be most likely to find you? taking the beach bus to Zuma or searching through the sales at Urban Outfitters
Leno or Letterman? Leno. And I heart Conan.
Britney or Christina? Christina (sorry, Britney, but you’ve been replaced until your forthcoming comeback)
Most annoying L.A. place: Pinkberry’s
Most underappreciated L.A. place: the stores and restaurants off of Ventura and Laurel Canyon
Favorite luxury: getting my eyebrows done at Vinita’s and then going next-door to Bisou for a manicure/pedicure
First concert: NSync with Samar, Nasim, Nina, and Kamron at the Great Western Forum in Inglewood
Do you still listen to Madonna? more than ever
Favorite band to see live: Justin Timberlake
Favorite jeans: Abercrombie & Fitch for day, Citizens of Humanity for night
Favorite legal drug: Myspace
Favorite candy: Charm’s blowpops
Favorite ice cream flavor: Rocky Road from Thrifty’s

Madonna for H&M: I don’t get it… but I love it!

I traveled to Dallas two weekends ago. Home to the Cowboys, Neiman Marcus, and now, Elham & Isaac. Congrats! The wedding was very nice and charming. Here are a few pictures:

Enjoy this supplement to my last post (hereafter known as the most popular post ever). Rehab is definitely the new black. So stay there, Brit!

An Open Letter to Britney Spears

Dear Britney:

You don’t know me. We’ve never actually met (but I did almost meet you on three occasions: Trisha and I saw you from afar when you did a press conference at the Chocolate Museum in Cologne, Germany; Vanda and I ditched a meeting – which we later got in trouble for – to come to your movie premiere of “Crossroads” at the Mann, where I shouted your name from across the street – and you ignored me; last year Lisa and I went to a club in Atlanta because we heard K Fed was performing, and you were there, hanging out with Usher). For almost ten years I have kept up with your work, your relationships, your ups and your downs. And Britney, I have to say – right now – this is a definite down. So, please. Sit down. We gotta talk. Do you wanna a Red Bull and Cheetos? Sure, go ahead. Enjoy. But, just listen.

What happened? Once, a long time ago, you were the Madonna of my life. I posted your very first Rolling Stone cover on my wall. “…Baby One More Time” was on complete replay in my head. You were America’s number one pop princess. I danced to “I’m A Slave 4 U” over and over again. When I heard you were the new Pepsi girl, I actually sat and watched the entire Superbowl just to see your ad. And Britney v. Christina? Puhlease. Christina had nothing on you. “Everytime” remains to be my favorite song and favorite video ever. Even after you and Justin broke up, I still loved you. While in London, I bought the same earrings you wore in the “Toxic” video for Samar. Rauz and I bought food at SBarro’s because it came with a free Britney single. I stalked my friends who had HBO just so I could watch your “Dream Within A Dream Tour” on tv. I bought your perfume “Curious,” although it made me smell like a sixteen year-old cheerleader. I almost cried when Leonard told me he was going to be a back-up dancer for the “My Prerogative” video and that I couldn’t come with him. Your forty-eight hour wedding in Vegas? I thought it was amusing. Vivian and I saw Jason Alexander at a club in Hollywood and went up to him just so we could say he would never have anyone better than you.

And then came K Fed. I knew it wouldn’t last. No matter what anyone said though, I still supported you. I made Negin drive back early while in Santa Barbara so we could watch the premiere episode of “Chaotic.” It was bad. But, I didn’t care. I thought you were trying to show the world you were a regular person – another girl from middle-class America – no makeup, no manners, no style. With the divorce I thought that you and Justin could finally get back together. Yalda and I prayed for this day. However, alas, I fear that is never going to happen now. For the first time, Brit, I am worried. You shaved your head. You don’t wear underwear. You look sad. I knew that you always did drugs (who in Hollywood doesn’t?) but this is out of control. I know that the paparazzi are vicious, but try to be strong. Please stay in rehab. Please get better. I love Christina’s music, but she’ll never be America’s pop princess like you were. Focus on your music, reinvent yourself, don’t date anyone for a while, and start paying attention to stylists.

Britney, I want you to be happy. I want you to sing more songs. I want to see you perform again on MTV. I want you to have your hot body again. There is life after teen pop. Ask Christina, ask Justin, even ask Jessica Simpson. Take a cue from Madonna. You always have.

with love,
Tala

P.S. Yes, you can have another Red Bull.

One line of last week’s episode of The Hills made me soooo green with envy that I wanted to stab the television. And from the looks of it, Lauren also wanted to gauge out Emily’s eyes.

“I’m taking 18 credits at NYU two days a week, I intern two days a week at Teen Vogue… and I also work one day at Chanel.” - Emily Weiss aka “super-intern”

Who gets to work at Chanel while they are in undergrad?! If I wasn’t so annoyed by her, I would want to be her. Although, I will always support Team LC for life.

IN OTHER NEWS: what is happening with B?! She is starting to scare me.

A little valentine’s day love for all my blog readers:

Has the Internet just been discovered by the mass media? Gossip blogs, online photos, stalkarazzi, Myspace, Facebook, and so many other sites I haven’t even had time to Google yet – all have the power of turning the unknown into famous, and turning the famous into celebrities and superstars. Well, narcissim is infectious. Read these great articles for more insight into our online world: Mirror, Mirror on the Web; Girls Gone Wild; and Kids, the Internet, and the End of Privacy.

A not-so-funny funny comic:

Everyone’s favorite Prince Charming… and other Disney characters. Sign me up to be Princess Jasmine!

There’s something about Mary(-Kate). Forget boho grunge chic – MK is going for the eastern-european child prostitute look… although she might have recently upgraded to society madam. Either way, I am excited she is bringing back fur. If she can do the same thing for fur as she did for leggings, this time next year H&M and Forever 21 will be selling faux stoles. Or perhaps the real thing will be sold as part of the Olsen’s new fashion line, the Row?

MySpace dictates relationships: But Just When Belinda Was Losing Hope, Jack Moved Her Up to Number Seven

Teen girl #1: I think Jack’s about to break up with me again...
Teen girl #2: What? Why?
Teen girl #1: Yesterday I went to his MySpace, and he moved me to the bottom of his Top Eight!

--Prospect Park

via Overheard in New York

A new galaxy for Beckham: I can’t wait to stalk Posh & Becks at their new Hollywood Hills home (presumptively – I mean, where else would they live…?)

It is 2007. And winter break was too too too too much fun. Now it is time to go back to reality. But before, here are some pictures...

Déjà vu? I am taking a study break for a public service announcement: if the LA Times Magazine needs new material, I will be happy to provide my services… Today’s article v. an article from two and a half years ago.

It is the beginning of finals:

Hold your horses, U$C. This year, in the battle for Los Angeles, UCLA is king. Finally. It was time to settle an old score. Bruins rule and Trojans drool.

Can everyone stop talking about the taser incident now?

Their manager is a genius.

Because all you hear up in tha A is dirty south crunked out ballin beats (I’m not complaining but you can only hear so much T.I. and Yung Joc before you want to yank your ears out), I thought I would investigate on what is being heard in El Ay. So for everyone who was not able to be in the City of Angels this past Thanksgiving weekend, press play. Sounds just like home – courtesy of The Game. Although The Game is a little poroo (comparing himself to Nas and Tupac), I still really like this song. And another cool song: Vato by S N double O P. Westside till I die XOXO

It is Thanksgiving week. And to reflect on some of the things I’m thankful for, here is a little story: almost two months ago I had the pleasure of eating at an authentic Southern establishment – the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store. When I proclaimed to the group I was with that I had never heard of this restaurant-store chain before, one of the ladies said to me, “Oh, sweet honey child, this is the place.” Okaaaaaaaay. I smiled and nodded.

The country store section had an assortment of just about everything from rocking chairs to candy to pots and pans to Christmas decorations (which were being sold in September). The restaurant’s menu was totally unrecognizable to me (I still don’t know what grits are. Or butter baked chicken? And who has gravy with biscuits for breakfast? I thought gravy was eaten only with mashed potatoes for dinner). Nevertheless, the food was good and the atmosphere was even better.

When I was leaving the store I noticed a sign posted by the establishment that they were willing to serve everyone and anyone – no matter of their race – and immediately my mind flashed to Civil War movies and segregation stories. It really made me be thankful for the different experiences I am able to have living here, and the histories, cultures, and various people I have come across. And it made me realize that step by step, little by little, the goal of unity of mankind is on its way to being accomplished. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I have only been watching previews and random scenes, but I am already in love with Signé Chanel, a documentary on Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel’s Fall/Winter 2004-2005 collection. It is so funny to watch grandmothers: Madame Martine, Madame Jacqueline, and Madame Cécile, all gather in what looks like an upstairs attic, clocking in and out, sewing and designing haute couture for the most wealthiest and influential people in the world. The charming histories of Chanel – Monsieur Massaro is the decades-old Chanel shoemaker who learned his craft from his father – Madame Pouzieux has been braiding the trim for Chanel clothing since 1947 – Monsieur Lesage exclusively does embroidery for Chanel – all humanize the fashion line. All of which is very interesting for moi, who did a report on Coco Chanel in the 10th grade, calling her one of the most influential people in the 20th century. Bravo to Loïc Progent, for making the documentary (and to my mother for initially recognizing Coco’s effect on the world).

P.S. I want this shirt, if anyone has an extra $50 to give me. Booses!

Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut U Down

Celebrities (and sins) galore… which makes me wonder: are they promoting JC or JC of Nazareth?

H&M opens at the Beverly Center tomorrow. Approximately nine years after I first bought H&M clothing in Europe. Now if only Naf Naf and Kookai would grace LA with its presence.

And in other news... B* Spears is fed up with K* Fed. She’s not the only one. Can I file divorce papers against him, too?

What would the Middle East look like with borders based on traditional ethnic divisions?

Too bad (for the Kurds) it will never happen.

Happy Halloween! This past weekend I had the pleasure of hosting Anna in Atlanta. We fully embraced the dirrty dirrty: ghetto crunked-out clubs, grillz, fine southern dining (grits, collard greens, sweet potatoes, fried chicken), and hanging out on Martin Luther King Jr.’s porch. We didn’t even need to dress up – we were an anomaly as it was – two Persian girls in the South.

... pregnacy tests, umbrellas and birthday stuff in one store... wow ATL has it all...! =)

Marie Antoinette comes out today. She is one of my favorite figures from history – original rock’n’roll royalty. I have been waiting for this movie for over one year now, when I first saw the trailer back in October of last year – fun songs accompanying extravagant fashion. If only we can all be Parisians at some point of our lives. Well, tonight I can pretend, and I will definitely be bringing my own piece of cake to enjoy while watching the film!

Dove: Evolution Of A Model

Dont believe everything you see.

It is Friday the 13th. To kick off the frightfest: super skinny scary models. Models love their rock-star boyfriends and paracetamol tablets for breakfast...? Too bad I’m already over the age of 17. And my diet consists more than a pack of Marlboro Lights, Diet Coke, and various other, um,... substances. Maybe I just need to contact Rachel Zoe, celebrity-stylist slash crystal-meth&coke-dealer for Lindsay, Nicole, and Mischa.

OMG, have I died and gone to Persian heaven? Behnaz Sarafpour has a collection coming out in November for Target - the latest in Target's Go International campaign. Now "Parlez vous Target?" will be "Shoma Target harf mizanid?" =)

My brother is the face of UCLA. This is not a joke. There are posters (and cookies) of him all over campus, courtesy of the fine people behind Happenings at UCLA, the “Headwaters of Hipdom.” These photos are from the Daily Bruin stand next to LuValle Commons. How appropriate – a Persian pre-med reppin UCLA – but when did Sana become so hip?





Jock ORL for stepping it up a notch and for once not shoving Diddy Riese cookies down freshmen throats (not that there is anything wrong with Diddy Riese, especially sugar cinammon cookies... mmm), but this is fershiz cooler.

A few of my favorite things, all placed together in a beautiful October Vogue fashion editorial: gold dresses, gisele, aviator sunglasses, the beach, and yoko ono-ed straight hair (and not to mention a tall, dark, and handsome young man).